How to Make Terrible Gnocchi
The pesto would have been better tossed with small snails than with the gnocchi I made. I know I have a tendency to toot my own horn on...
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JESSICA DETTMANN
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jdettmann
Mar 29, 20173 min read
Jackhammers, Interrupted
I, sadly not a celestial being, had to remain here on the earth that quaked every day for eight or nine hours as the diggers ripped...
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jdettmann
Mar 7, 20173 min read
The Bullshit Filibuster And Other Surefire Ways To Drive Your Sibling Mad
My children have picked up on that and helpfully compensated to bring my overall happiness down to neutral. Both of them are still...
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jdettmann
Feb 22, 20174 min read
Contact High
That, of course, is when then the gods strike you down. That is when you all come down with a virus and the teacher sends home a bunch of...
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jdettmann
Nov 11, 20164 min read
Things Are Gonna Slide, Slide In All Directions
Here instead is a list, which will show you how deeply embedded in my life is the music and lyrics of Leonard Cohen. Leonard Cohen Song...
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jdettmann
Sep 15, 20164 min read
Terrible Syncing Feeling
This useless slack-jawed snake will not do its job. I swear to Odin, the first thing I am going to do when I get to Scandinavia is go...
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jdettmann
Sep 8, 20163 min read
Psycho Killer: Qu’est-ce que c’est?
And well might you ask, Talking Heads, well might you ask. Is a psycho killer a killer of psychos, or a psycho who kills? It’s a crucial...
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jdettmann
Sep 1, 20162 min read
The Festival of Dangerous Ideas, As Programmed By My Children
Festival of Dangerous Ideas kicks off. My parents are going to heaps of things at this festival, including Alexei Sayle’s talk ‘Thatcher...
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jdettmann
Jul 20, 20164 min read
In The End, It Was The Odd Socks That Finished Her Off
Garnet searching for his socks. We’ve been on a holiday. A driving holiday, and while I’ll try to write about that soon, and tell you all...
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jdettmann
Apr 27, 20165 min read
Nothing Is Fun For The Whole Family
This seems lovely, doesn’t it? Until you realise that is not the ocean Garnet is wallowing in but actually self-pity. See the ripples of...
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jdettmann
Mar 8, 20163 min read
Good Spider, Bad Spider
Dumbledore (left) and Huntsman Who Did Not Heed Me (right) Sydney’s in the middle of a plague of spiders. Summer forgot to end and for...
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jdettmann
Nov 16, 20153 min read
Ignorance Is Bliss
Apocalypse now, or have we time for another coffee before the end of days? ‘Why do I still have to go to kindy?’ May Blossom moaned to...
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jdettmann
Oct 29, 20152 min read
You Might As Well Have a Hotdog
On Sunday we threw her an awesome Peter Pan-themed party, attended by seven Peters Pan, two Captains Hook, one mermaid, one Wendy (the...
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jdettmann
Oct 14, 20153 min read
My Head Is A Compost Bin
Hiding in the corner, not doing its job well. Come on, compost bin, lean in. Hello! Well, Mental Health Week came and went last week, and...
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jdettmann
Sep 14, 20154 min read
Follow Your Arrow
I think I’ve figured out why smart parents make their kids listen to kids’ music. It’s so you can have conversations about how yes, the...
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jdettmann
Jun 17, 20154 min read
How To Make Antibiotics In Your Own Car
Garnet, who has a lot of dandelion picking to do to get back in my good books. There is a new rule in the House of Gusto: no one is...
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jdettmann
May 6, 20153 min read
File It Under ‘F’.
Of course when I made the booking I didn’t write down the time or date anywhere, so a few days ago I remembered about it, in a panic, and...
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jdettmann
Apr 29, 20152 min read
I Stand For Mercy
I’m generally pretty hopeless at looking the bad aspects of our world in the eye. I’m didn’t participate in any vigils for Andrew Chan...
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jdettmann
Feb 25, 20152 min read
To Fiji, Come Hell Or High Vomit
Two hours and all the towels in the house later, he was a limp pile of empty little boy on the sofa, and I was reading the fine print on...
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jdettmann
Feb 18, 20153 min read
Shut Up, If You Please
One night I let things escalate horribly. I was so tired of being shouted at and told I was very, very mean, when really I am only a bit...
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