How to Make Terrible Gnocchi
The pesto would have been better tossed with small snails than with the gnocchi I made. I know I have a tendency to toot my own horn on...
top of page
JESSICA DETTMANN
Search
jdettmann
Mar 21, 20173 min read
I Am A Lego Detective
But I’m confused, because although I think that’s what I said, what he seems to have heard is, ‘I am a Lego Detective. I can find any...
3 views0 comments
jdettmann
Mar 7, 20173 min read
The Bullshit Filibuster And Other Surefire Ways To Drive Your Sibling Mad
My children have picked up on that and helpfully compensated to bring my overall happiness down to neutral. Both of them are still...
4 views0 comments
jdettmann
Feb 22, 20174 min read
Contact High
That, of course, is when then the gods strike you down. That is when you all come down with a virus and the teacher sends home a bunch of...
9 views0 comments
jdettmann
Oct 25, 20164 min read
The Man Who Had No Birthdays
Someone’s kid has an extendable arm that only comes out when there’s a chocolate fountain. Handy. May Blossom turned six on the weekend...
3 views0 comments
jdettmann
Sep 1, 20162 min read
The Festival of Dangerous Ideas, As Programmed By My Children
Festival of Dangerous Ideas kicks off. My parents are going to heaps of things at this festival, including Alexei Sayle’s talk ‘Thatcher...
4 views0 comments
jdettmann
Aug 25, 20165 min read
Area of Particular Interest
That aside, we are really very extremely excited. We are going to Finland, Sweden and Denmark. The trip has come about because Jess is a...
4 views0 comments
jdettmann
Aug 11, 20163 min read
Olympics Para Siempre
We are disgraceful: this was one of only two photos we have of anyone in this family doing anything even vaguely athletic, while also not...
1 view0 comments
jdettmann
Jul 20, 20164 min read
In The End, It Was The Odd Socks That Finished Her Off
Garnet searching for his socks. We’ve been on a holiday. A driving holiday, and while I’ll try to write about that soon, and tell you all...
4 views0 comments
jdettmann
Jun 29, 20163 min read
It Turns Out, You Can Go Home Again
Sample bookshelf from my parents’ attic: Just one of the many collections of books that tells you probably more than you need to know...
5 views0 comments
jdettmann
Jun 22, 20161 min read
Songs by The Smiths or Things My Three Year Old Said Today?
Portrait of Garnet by his sister or Smiths album cover? In lieu of a proper post, today I have a fun game for you, dear readers. It’s...
2 views0 comments
jdettmann
Jun 15, 20164 min read
Sticker Shock
Part of a Lego exhibition we saw on the weekend and in no way a freakishly accurate representation of our bedroom when it’s my morning to...
3 views0 comments
jdettmann
May 17, 20164 min read
The Joy of Sticks
From top: gun, sword, wand. AKA ‘kindling for Granddad’. I’ve never thought brandishing a stick was a good idea. We were always told by...
5 views0 comments
jdettmann
Apr 27, 20165 min read
Nothing Is Fun For The Whole Family
This seems lovely, doesn’t it? Until you realise that is not the ocean Garnet is wallowing in but actually self-pity. See the ripples of...
5 views0 comments
jdettmann
Mar 23, 20163 min read
A Hot Cross Son for Easter
This week he has been brought to howling tears by many and varied injustices. There was the fact that I would not go under the house to...
2 views0 comments
jdettmann
Mar 16, 20164 min read
Testing Times
Occasionally he makes up a word (‘You nuckus!’) or just pops something that’s not an insult at all (‘You big sandwich!) None of it is...
4 views0 comments
jdettmann
Feb 15, 20163 min read
I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud Whose Kids Are Both At School
Garnet’s preschool curriculum focuses on how to induce guilt. The slow process of settling the kids into school and preschool continues...
1 view0 comments
jdettmann
Dec 21, 20153 min read
Life’s A Treat
Last week Garnet turned three. He’s not a hundred per cent ok with that. The boy has a complicated relationship with the ageing process....
3 views0 comments
jdettmann
Nov 2, 20152 min read
Question Time
One morning – bloody early one morning – he asked me the following questions in the space of half an hour, which is how long it takes to...
2 views0 comments
jdettmann
Jun 4, 20153 min read
Lego, Lego, Can’t Hold It Back Any More
For about a year we have had, shoved into the cupboard in the playroom where no-one ever goes because it houses the vacuum cleaner, a...
1 view0 comments
bottom of page