Go To Sleep, Little Baby
Helpfully, May Blossom and Pipsqueak look like twins born four years apart, so I can illustrate this post with a picture of my own child...
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JESSICA DETTMANN
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jdettmann
Apr 22, 20153 min read
If You Can Keep Your Head When All About You Are Losing Theirs
Please disregard the feature damp patch on the ceiling. We’ll deal with it one day. Probably when the bath falls onto the dining-room...
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jdettmann
Apr 17, 20152 min read
The Mysterious Chocolate Cookies of Misery
I made the cookies using an amalgamation of recipes on the internet, which I found by googling ‘cacao almond cookies’. They all contained...
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jdettmann
Apr 15, 20152 min read
How Funny? Pants-Off Funny
Benny Hill is a cultural reference that is on its last legs, I’d say. I only recall it vaguely from my childhood, mostly because it...
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jdettmann
Apr 8, 20152 min read
20 Things I Should Probably Have Explained To The New Babysitter
When Garnet says he wants to wear a dress, he means it. Unless he is talking about a T-shirt, which I have taken to calling dresses in an...
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jdettmann
Feb 18, 20153 min read
Shut Up, If You Please
One night I let things escalate horribly. I was so tired of being shouted at and told I was very, very mean, when really I am only a bit...
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jdettmann
Aug 18, 20142 min read
Spread Joy Up To The Maximum
While Garnet was sick all he has wanted to do was have me read him books while he languished in my lap. Once day I dragged out a Play...
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jdettmann
Aug 8, 20143 min read
The Son Also Vomits
My daughter has a remarkable grasp of phonetic spelling. This week has indeed been totally phykd. Gastro. Again. You’re going to start...
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jdettmann
May 27, 20142 min read
Cross
It took half an hour to even upload this far-too-small image, due to iPhoto (or iFighto as my Dad has long called it) deciding that...
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jdettmann
Mar 5, 20142 min read
Games for Rainy Days
Others are more prosaic. Take ‘Molly Drops Her Phone’. In this game, May Blossom is Molly. Molly takes my phone, puts it in her handbag...
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jdettmann
Jan 15, 20143 min read
When You Think He’s Fast Asleep, He’s Always Wide Awake
Why the italics, you might ask. What has Gusto done to merit that? Nothing. Gusto is being an exemplary feline. It is the jellicle cats...
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jdettmann
Dec 12, 20133 min read
Flat-packed
So sweet, you’d never know they have tiny ear canals brimming with filth and germs. Nor that the one on the right is about to throw up in...
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jdettmann
Oct 22, 20133 min read
Nearly Three Years In
Tomorrow is May Blossom’s third birthday. If you’d asked me three years ago what I thought my life might look like now, I would have...
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jdettmann
Aug 24, 20133 min read
Upstairs Downstairs
The state of the carpet on the stairs is too shameful to photograph, so here’s a picture of Garnet in a massive hat instead. Our new...
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jdettmann
Aug 9, 20133 min read
In The House
Remember when I used to write things on this blog? Those were the days, eh? Well, those days might be returning. Things are finally,...
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jdettmann
Apr 19, 20133 min read
The Games We Play: Angry Men Edition
I spent a bit of time on that flight in the galley, bobbing around while getting Garnet off to sleep, and so I was privy to the pursed...
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jdettmann
Mar 25, 20134 min read
The Real Boss
Come the week of the concert and my mum, who had bravely offered to babysit both May Blossom and Garnet, politely asked how we were going...
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jdettmann
Mar 8, 20134 min read
Make ‘Em Laugh
May Blossom at work in her office. A month or so ago we let May Blossom watch Singin’ In the Rain. We were on the hunt for a movie that...
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jdettmann
Jan 16, 20133 min read
A Month
Garnet has one elf ear. The other is a human ear. We are unsure what, if anything, to make of this. Garnet’s 24 days old. It’s been a bit...
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jdettmann
Dec 25, 20122 min read
This Is Just To Say
Our little boy was born ten days ago. Sorry it’s taken me so long to put him down and write a post to announce it. But if you smelled his...
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