Nine Lies
It turns out my kids are lying liars who lie. On Saturday night, my brother, SuperChief, babysat Garnet and May Blossom. They totally saw...
top of page
JESSICA DETTMANN
Search
jdettmann
Aug 19, 20154 min read
Sleep Like No-One’s Watching
Gusto refusing to participate in a dramatic re-enactment of the sleeping arrangements at our house. Honestly, never work with cats. It’s...
4 views0 comments
jdettmann
Jul 31, 20154 min read
Waikiki? Your Guess Is As Good As Mine.
Waikiki at dawn. I like this place best between 4 and 6 am. Aloha from Hawaii, where I am finishing up a three-week lecture tour of the...
0 views0 comments
jdettmann
Jul 6, 20156 min read
Champion of the Novelties
I have been exercising quite a lot. It turns out the trick to exercise is not trying too hard. Apparently I knew this when I was a child...
3 views0 comments
jdettmann
Jun 17, 20154 min read
How To Make Antibiotics In Your Own Car
Garnet, who has a lot of dandelion picking to do to get back in my good books. There is a new rule in the House of Gusto: no one is...
5 views0 comments
jdettmann
Jun 11, 20154 min read
Tough Love
This morning, as I prepared the third course of May Blossom and Garnet’s breakfast, I began to think they were a bit spoiled. After they...
2 views0 comments
jdettmann
Jun 4, 20153 min read
Lego, Lego, Can’t Hold It Back Any More
For about a year we have had, shoved into the cupboard in the playroom where no-one ever goes because it houses the vacuum cleaner, a...
1 view0 comments
jdettmann
May 20, 20153 min read
Go To Sleep, Little Baby
Helpfully, May Blossom and Pipsqueak look like twins born four years apart, so I can illustrate this post with a picture of my own child...
5 views0 comments
jdettmann
Apr 29, 20152 min read
I Stand For Mercy
I’m generally pretty hopeless at looking the bad aspects of our world in the eye. I’m didn’t participate in any vigils for Andrew Chan...
4 views0 comments
jdettmann
Apr 22, 20153 min read
If You Can Keep Your Head When All About You Are Losing Theirs
Please disregard the feature damp patch on the ceiling. We’ll deal with it one day. Probably when the bath falls onto the dining-room...
5 views0 comments
jdettmann
Apr 17, 20152 min read
The Mysterious Chocolate Cookies of Misery
I made the cookies using an amalgamation of recipes on the internet, which I found by googling ‘cacao almond cookies’. They all contained...
2 views0 comments
jdettmann
Apr 15, 20152 min read
How Funny? Pants-Off Funny
Benny Hill is a cultural reference that is on its last legs, I’d say. I only recall it vaguely from my childhood, mostly because it...
2 views0 comments
jdettmann
Apr 8, 20152 min read
20 Things I Should Probably Have Explained To The New Babysitter
When Garnet says he wants to wear a dress, he means it. Unless he is talking about a T-shirt, which I have taken to calling dresses in an...
2 views0 comments
jdettmann
Feb 25, 20152 min read
To Fiji, Come Hell Or High Vomit
Two hours and all the towels in the house later, he was a limp pile of empty little boy on the sofa, and I was reading the fine print on...
1 view0 comments
jdettmann
Feb 18, 20153 min read
Shut Up, If You Please
One night I let things escalate horribly. I was so tired of being shouted at and told I was very, very mean, when really I am only a bit...
5 views0 comments
jdettmann
Feb 5, 20155 min read
A Bit of Stair Trouble
This morning was officially the second day I was to leave the house and come here to work on the blog and other self-directed (aka...
0 views0 comments
jdettmann
Oct 3, 20144 min read
The Gymlazium
It took me fifteen minutes to find a suitable illustration for this post. This is a dessicated frog on a spatula. It’s a metaphor or...
1 view0 comments
jdettmann
Aug 18, 20142 min read
Spread Joy Up To The Maximum
While Garnet was sick all he has wanted to do was have me read him books while he languished in my lap. Once day I dragged out a Play...
6 views0 comments
jdettmann
Aug 8, 20143 min read
The Son Also Vomits
My daughter has a remarkable grasp of phonetic spelling. This week has indeed been totally phykd. Gastro. Again. You’re going to start...
3 views0 comments
jdettmann
Jul 4, 20143 min read
We Sneeze In The Face Of Danger
May Blossom’s Self-Portrait With Gastro It’s winter here, and with each new and sparkling dawn comes a new illness. I’m quite serious:...
5 views0 comments
bottom of page